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Local Business  » How To Make Your Business Fail In Ten Days Or Less

How To Make Your Business Fail In Ten Days Or Less

How To Make Your Business Fail In Ten Days

1. Do get a web page at a cheap hosting site. Preferrably a

free place that will put there banners and ads all over

diminishing anything you are trying to sell.

2. Do put up your own banners everywhere making it hard to

navigate and hard for anyone to not get a headache just looking

at the main page. After all we don't want them coming back.

3. Do make make sure that when a visitor clicks on a link and

goes to another page, they have no way of getting back to the

main of your site. We want them so hopelessly lost they have no

choice but to go elsewhere. We don't want to have repeat

customers do we?

4. Make the background and text virtually the same color so that

prospective visitors have to squint themselves into oblivion

just to make out a letter.

5. Also be sure to make the text so small they will have wonder

if there actually looking at specks of dirt instead of words.

6. Don't ever get a mailing list. We don't want those nosy

people to be able to find you or your website again do we?

7. Do get a GIGANTIC, colorful logo or text. Make sure it spins,

spits fire, dazzles, and confuses your audience. That way they

will be so hypnotized they'll forget there own name AND your

website address. And speaking of web address...

8. Don't get a short, easily remembered address. Get an address

so long it will be three sentences long when put in ms word and

be rejected by most search engines.

9. Under no circumstances do you submit your site to any search

engines. By submitting your website you are making it to easy

for people to find your business. We want them to work for it.

Why should you do all the hard stuff and they just stroll in?

Give them a challenge. People like that.

10. Do not ever put your website address in your email

signature, on tshirts, pens/pencils, coffee mugs or other good

advertising products. If you do that then word of mouth might

start and you will have all this traffic coming onto your

webpage and we are trying to avoid that aren't we?

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11. Most of all, and this is the most important, Do not tell

ANYONE about your business website. It's a secret, so treat it

as one. Don't put it in your forum signature, in your blog, in

articles, or advertisements offline. That means no search

engines, adsense, adwords, or overture. This is your secret so

keep it close to your vest.Follow all these rules and in less

than 10 days you can sit and reap the sweet victory of having a

failed business, no income and no customers.

Good Luck.

Marsha James http://allabouttraffic.blogspot.com/

http://affiliatedreamz.blogspot.com/

http://homeincometalk.seo-blog.org/

About the author:

Marsha James has spent years trying to find ways to earn a

living online and at home. It was hard work, especially dodging

the scams, but she now makes a steady income from home and now

writes articles and gives advice to others.